Best Divorce Letter Ever!
Posted: 20 Jun 2012, 17:10
Dear Wife,
I am writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today. That was the last straw.
Last week you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of you soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating
on me or you don't love me any more - whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
PS: Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia
together !
****************************************************************
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you and I have been married for 7 years,
although a good man is a far cry from what you've been..
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice your haircut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was, 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you
can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers - I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I pray it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the Lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife - Rich as hell and FREE!
PS: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
I am writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today. That was the last straw.
Last week you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of you soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating
on me or you don't love me any more - whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
PS: Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia
together !
****************************************************************
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you and I have been married for 7 years,
although a good man is a far cry from what you've been..
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice your haircut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was, 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you
can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers - I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I pray it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the Lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife - Rich as hell and FREE!
PS: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
