Ed’s Infinite Wisdom

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Ooopsie
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Ed’s Infinite Wisdom

Postby Ooopsie » 25 Jul 2012, 14:40

This post is from 2005 and I thought it would be funny to run it here. Be kind to me after reading the following – it could happen to anyone.

True Story

As the majority of you know, Dottie and I live out in the “sticks” very close to the mountains. Our nearest BIG CITY is about 21 miles away and I commute about 47 miles to work, one way, each day. Also I know quite a bit about cars, engines etc....Except for the past 4 years I don't really keep track.

Tuesday Evening: November 8, 2005

Exiting HWY 522 on my way home from work, my car gave a slight stutter. This is something I noticed about 4 weeks ago while pulling out into heavy oncoming traffic on HWY 2. The locals know that you do not want car problems on HWY 2 as it is heavily traveled, especially during ski season and summer months. There is a lot of curves in the last 6 miles of our commute and if you break down you have a good chance of getting nailed (HWY 522 and HWY 2 are noted in many editorials as the Highways of death and are rated in the top 10 dangerous Highways in the U.S.).

I just barely made it home on Tuesday night, crawling into our driveway. The car idled just fine but when I accelerated it would almost die. (Fuel filter maybe? Fuel pump?). In my infinite wisdom, I decided not to fill up my tank as they may have to remove the fuel tank to install a fuel pump.

Wednesday Morning: November 9, 2005

We called AAA at 4:15 AM and had the car towed to our mechanic in Everett, about 40 miles away. There was no way that I was going to drive HWY 2 and take any chances.

In the afternoon Dottie and I dropped by JB’s (our mechanic-owner of Evergreen Auto and Palmer’s 4×4. He has several employees, but he was taking a personal interest in this situation). He stated the problem may come from rats. He had discovered rat turds in various parts of the engine compartment. The rats seem to like the warmth from the engine and sleep or nest there on cold nights. More proof was visible from the gnawing and tooth marks on the mass air flow distributor. So JB tore a few things apart to see if nesting could be blocking air flow to the engine. NOPE. No nests.

Further inspection revealed that it is possible that there is a bare wire from the rats gnawing on various rubber parts so JB continued his attack against the possible rat problem to no avail. His recommendation is in the future, hang a urinal block in the engine compartment some place as rats hate the smell (and so do I), but alas, still no sign of what was causing the problem. Oh, by the way. JB put a new fuel filter in as that would be the least expensive fix in the event that is the problem.

Thursday Afternoon: November 10, 2005

Got a call from JB. “Hey Ed, I am stumped”. All diagnostics check out just fine and there is no engine light lit up on your dashboard, so the diagnostic tools do not pick up anything. I am going to bring your car over to the Maxima dealer and have a master mechanic check it out.
$85.00 later he was advised that it was the Master Air Flow Distributor ($550.00). OUCH. To the best of JB’s knowledge, there is no after market part and in the slim chance that that was NOT what was wrong, he hated to put a new part in (2-3 days lead time for the special order from Nissan). Luckily, one of JB’s employees located the part at a junk yard for $175.00. As JB put it, a buck seventy five. It sounds less expensive that way at least. More expensive than a fuel filter for sure.

Thursday Late Afternoon:

Phone call from JB. “Hey Ed, it’s still doing the same thing”….WHAT? So the dealer was wrong (MASTER MECHANIC MY *%$#!).
Back to the drawing board. (Oh, luckily JB was able to return the part. It is extremely rare that this particular part wears out). Did I mention that JB replaced my fuel filter also?

Thursday Evening:

I spent about 2 hours doing some research via the Internet on the loss of power upon acceleration on a Nissan Maxima. According to the experts the stalling could be a bare wire however, in most of those cases the radio and clock would reset due to loss of power. Nope, that was not my particular problem as I was not losing electrical power.
Further research came up with the possibility that a wire in our particular year (96 Maxima, GXE) from the ignition through the firewall could be the culprit. Boy, that fuel filter sure was the cheapest way to go. Did I mention that before?

Friday Morning: November 11, 2005

JB and I had a phone conversation about my research findings of the previous evening (hey, I AM a SMART GUY YOU KNOW). Pretty sad that I have to do the research for my mechanic and then he bills me for educating him.
I explained to JB the several scenarios that I read about. I also told JB that I normally don’t let my fuel get as low as it is but I let it go this time as, “in my INFINITE WISDOM”, he may have to pull the fuel tank. “So JB, if you need to test drive it any more, please put some fuel in the tank and I will gladly pay for it”. JB thanked me for being so observant and thinking of him.

JB – “You know, you could have some contaminated fuel”.

ED – “Yeah, that is possible, but I am pretty careful about what I put in the tank. With the price of fuel right now I still stick with my regular Shell station but I have gone from a higher octane to a lower grade AND in my INFINITE WISDOM I avoid Ethanol and Alcohol based fuels as they have caused me problems in the past. I used to use the V-Power fuel from Shell but that caused my car to idle high when I started the car up while the engine was warm, so I dropped down to their middle of the line fuel and then down to the 87 octane when prices surged”.

JB – “Yup. I noticed the spark knock. You are burning a bit lean you know”.

STILL Friday Morning:

JB once again gave me a call.

JB – “Hey Ed. You know, the last thing you said to me got me to thinking”.

ED – “Huh? What are you talking about”?

JB – “Well, do you reset your trip-odometer every time you fill up”?

ED – “You bet I do”!

JB – “I noticed your trip-odometer was at 397 miles and normally you don’t get that kind of mileage in a Maxima GXE”.

ED – “JB, I have driven 425-450 miles on a tank of gas when I am ALL FREEWAY. I normally tank up though at around 360 miles. A light is supposed to come on if I get too low” (which I have never done as I don’t take chances).

JB – “Well Ed. I put 22 bucks in the tank and test drove it. The car is running just fine”.

ED – “Hmmmmmmm”.

JB – “You see, when your tank gets that low and you accelerate, the fuel sloshes to and fro and the fuel pump was not getting enough fuel during the back and forth movement of the gas in the tank. It shouldn’t do that but it could be that your fuel gauge readings are not as accurate as they used to be. Best bet is to tank every 325-330 miles from now on”.

ED – “So what the heck is the low fuel light used for”?

JB – “You need to take that up with Nissan”.

So, $388.52 later the mystery is solved (price included 1/2 a tank of gas. And did I mention a new fuel filter?). I told JB that he is ripping me off. “JB, All you did was put $22.00 worth of gas in my car. I could have done that”! Luckily we are pretty good friends. Dottie discovered him about 15 years ago and we have been using his services since. JB is the most honest mechanic we have met besides Larry, Dottie’s brother.

Now, I know a bit about cars and have done many repairs my self in years gone by. So, if you ever have a question about your cars performance, DON’T ASK ME. I obviously am not as wise as I thought.

On the flip side, Dottie is a very sweet person. She just laughed it off while I fumed. Sure wish I could read her mind.

Saturday Morning: November 12, 2005

In Dottie’s Infinite Wisdom, I was served crow for breakfast. I asked for a second helping. I deserve it.

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